Closure.

I’m running away
And I’m not gonna miss you.

I’m forgetting the way
You fondly play with my hair
And how you smile as you sigh
With the warmth in your eyes
And how they twinkle like stars in the night.

I’m forgetting the way
You called my name
And said that you needed me
How you told me unspeakable thoughts
You’d never dare tell a soul.

I’m forgetting the way
I forgave what you did
Hoping things’ll be better off
If I could be strong for the both of us
As long as I have you with me.

I’m forgetting the way
I shoved her name behind my mind
Because I wanted to believe that I am enough
And I am the one you chose.

I’m forgetting the way
You forget about me
And push me away with your silence
Knowing it kills me the most.

I’m forgetting.

Do-si-do

Step forward as I pass you by
And you do the same.

A little closer.

Step backward as we get uncomfortably close,
Well never be the same.

Somehow farther.

You come back right when I’m about to go,
Always been this way.

Somewhat sad.

You step away before the music ends,
I waltz alone.

Somehow graceful,
Somehow fine.

24052016.

Please don’t talk to me
As if I have done nothing right,
As if I am a complete failure;
Because I have done that myself already.

 

Please don’t talk to me
As if I am nothing but a disappointment,
As if I know nothing;
Because I have done that myself already.

 

Please don’t talk to me
As if I am unworthy of love,
As is I am the bottom rung;
Because I have done that already.

 

Please don’t talk to me
As if I did nothing but fail,
As if I never tried;
Because I have done that already.

 

Please don’t talk to me that way,
It cuts to the core, it does,
Words pass but the wounds do not,
Please don’t talk to me that way.

 

Please don’t talk to me that way,
For I could only take so much,
I wouldn’t say when is too much;
I just might walk away.

 

Please don’t talk to me that way,
Please don’t tell me how to think, in what way,
Please don’t talk to me that way,
Else I cannot promise I’d stay.

Things in Lieu of You

Fictional stories
Replaced emptied inboxes;
Songs and melodies
Instead of silly phone calls.

Blank ceiling and walls
In lieu of that smile;
A hand to my heart
Instead of my head to your chest.

Dreamless slumber
In place of sleepless bliss;
Cups of tea
Instead of drowning in the thoughts of you.

Deep sigh from the chest
In place of songs from the heart;
Silent nights in bed
Replaced warm embraces and tangled arms and legs.

Songs under my breath,
Words falling on deaf ears;
Verses to which I give birth,
Air passing by blind eyes.

Oh.

Oh.
It is the sound you make
When your heart shatters into thousands of pieces
And the patch of promises peels off
Revealing a gaping hole of broken ones.

Oh.
It is the sound you make
When no words could piece together
The thoughts and pictures rumbling through your mind.

Oh.
It is the sound you make
When there is nothing to do, nothing you could ever do
But leave things as they are.

Oh.
It is the sound you make
When your heart is left hanging
When you are sentenced to bleed to death.

Oh.

Reasons, Maybe

We were so similar, I think
Too similar, in fact
That we were asking the same things
At the same time
When we both had none to give.

We got familiar, I think
Too familiar, in fact
That we thought were were sailing smoothly
When the truth is
We weren’t.

We got comfortable, I think
Too comfortable, in fact
That we thought this love would conquer all
When the truth is
We’re just young and gullible like everybody else.

You might say it isn’t me
Or that you want to be alone
Or that there is something wrong with you
Or that you just don’t know what that exactly is
But you cannot stop me from thinking
That it probably is me.
Something I said, or didn’t
Something I did, or didn’t
Something I am, or am not.

They say you’d be back
But I don’t know, really
There must be something with me, something I lack
And you probably know exactly

They say you’d be back
And with all my heart, yes I do honestly hope so
But at the same time
Knowing you, and how you are now
You probably wouldn’t
And that is the truth I’m scared to face.

They say you’d be back
Maybe it is a trap
For me to hope and wait
But then again such thing isn’t needed
For I’d do that without anyone asking.

We got too similar, familiar, comfortable
It must be me or something I am not
Still, they say you’d be back
And though my mind says no
As long as my heart keeps says keep hoping,
I shall.

Dear You

How quick is it for you
To turn so cold on me
To throw me to the other side of the curtain,
Totally devoid of any affection
Or any emotion at all,
Totally rejected,
With my heart breaking at the seams,
When you have completely moved on,
In just a snap of a finger?

How quick is it for you
To sit still with no expression on your face
While I sit in utter disbelief,
For you to smile and wave good bye,
While I’m holding back the tears?

And perhaps what hurts is,
The fact that you’ve slowly drifted away
And moved on
Without me knowing,
Without you telling.

And perhaps what hurts is
The fact you said you love me
When you didn’t anymore
What for?

And perhaps what hurts is
The fact that you are so sure
That you made me feel
That I matter so little now
That you can sit still in the presence of my grief
And not do anything except to cause it.

And perhaps what hurts is
The fact that you made me feel
So unimportant
So trivial
So mundane
So different
From days ago,
Then just go.

And what hurts the most
Is that I love you still
And no matter how hard I try
To hold onto you
You’d always pull back harder, away.

The fact is that
No matter what I say
No matter what they say
No matter what you say
I still love you,
I still do.