go.

I go back to wondering if I said something wrong
Or uninteresting, or less profound,
Something undeserving of a response or anything,
I wonder and I,
I realize what this is.

I go back here feeling anxious,
Drum beating in my chest, my ears hot,
Face flushed, and I don’t know why,
Until I do,
And I realize what this is.

And for a moment I consider the possibilities,
The what if’s, the could be’s,
The truth that it may possibly happen,
If I let it happen,
And I don’t know if I don’t want it to happen.

My heart aches and I am scared and I smile foolishly,
And chastise myself from this folly,
No–
I don’t know.

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