2209

To say
That I’m more than enough is a lie,
A big red mark on my back
Because I know I’m not.
Or at least
Not enough for you.
Not enough to make you stay.
Not enough to make you think,
To hope, to trust, to hold, the thinnest sliver of light
Seeping through the cracks of your walls.

Not enough to make you say
To speak, to shout, to whisper
That you mean the opposite.
That you pushed me away
To see how much I’d pull back.
That you said goodbye
To see how much I’d say no.
That you ended it
To see how much I’d digress
Knowing, hoping I won’t.

But you did.
And you meant it all.
Every single bit of it.
That there is nothing there.
Not a single thread of light.
Not a single drop of bliss.
Not a single strand of faith.

And don’t you ever say
That I’m the one that got away
For I am not.
I am the one you pushed
Shoved, threw away.
Just another promise you can’t keep.
Just another story.
Another person.
Another stranger.
Another has been.
Another stone at the bottom of the pond.
Another coin traded for an unfulfilled wish.

Don’t, for a second think
That I’ll find someone
Who sees what you saw in me
Because I never will.
Especially not
For I don’t see them myself.

And I’m pouring everything out
Tiring my mind out
Killing my thoughts out
Right now.
Right when I can pretend there is strength left.
Right when I can pretend things are better off.
Right when I can pretend I didn’t lose the best thing I ever had.
Right when I can pretend there are no tears to hold back.

Advertisements

Would love to hear your thoughts! :)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s