Day 350

You break my heart
Without you even knowing it
That it scares me
How much it’ll hurt
If you do it.
Consciously.

But.

You make my everyday so much
Still, without you knowing it
That I can’t even begin to imagine
When you do it.
Willingly.

And.

Through the course of our lives
With time slipping past our eyes
Like sand between our fingers
You held me tightly
And I, you.
And we were spinning.
Whirling.
Fast.
Until you let go.
And I,
Grasping thin air
Flew away
Agaisnt my will.

Shattered I landed
Where you first picked me up.
And realized.
That it is I
Who has to put myself back together.
It is I who has to brace myself.
It is I.

And you.
Estranged.
In some place where I don’t think I exist.
Looked back.
Came back.
Wanted to be back.
And so do I.

Yes.
I know now.
This isn’t a peaceful place.
We are nowhere there.
We are in our storm.
But if we stay in the eye.
Eye to eye.
We can make it.

Yes.
I know now.
This isn’t the ideal
Or not how others will think of it, in fact–
This is chaos.
Dysfunctional.
But it’s ours.
And like demeted souls,
We love it.
This beautiful, beautiful tragedy.

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