Mid-Hiatus

Breaking the silence–
Self imposed silence
For I can’t calm the storm
Brewing in my mind.
I can’t deny
The panic in my eyes.
Not even to myself–
The only one who knows.
Of names kept
Of times I wept
Of panthom threats
Of heavy breaths
Of unanswered questioning
Of senseless speaking
Of inaudible wails
Of the battle in my mind
Each and every day:
That one side is a lie.
That I must not believe
Everything I say.
That I have made my resolve
To give time the control
To give everything up
To whatever power it is
And I willingly submit
Though I die a little
Each and every time.
Each and every time.

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