Infallible

Not even anything can save me now–
The optimism, this new shirt,
The way my jeans fit my legs perfectly,
Not even the way my feet are comfortably resting inside my sneakers.

Not even anything can save me now–
The poetry, the clicking sound in my mind as words pour out my mouth,
Not even the eloquence I was always proud to have,
Not even the sophisticated nature of this game I chose to play.

Not even anything can save me now–
The way my eyes look so alive, and decisive right now,
The way my face looks like it’s ready to take on the world,
Not even the way I stand as if I’m infallible.

Not even anything can save me now–
For all my vanity and confidence, and faith in myself,
None of these things will ever save me any day.
None of these things, I dare say.

I was raised to believe I can go on, alone,
And had been lauded for doing so, for so long.
But none of all these things can get me the love that I need.
None of all these things can get me things others have every day, unconditionally,
With no requirements, no pretense, no standards, no bars to beat.

Not even now. Not even once. Not ever.

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